But Does It Work?
Anyone who has visited a decent bottle shop lately could be forgiven for arriving at an inescapable conclusion. The latest hobby amongst the scientific community is clearly to conjure up new and seemingly wondrous devices to enable the dual tasks of opening and enjoying a bottle of wine become even simpler and more pleasurable. Soon, anyone will be able to do it!
What’s more, in case these objectives are thwarted to the extent that a residual quantity of wine remains unconsumed, other boffins are spending valuable brain-power on maintaining unfinished bottles in pristine condition.
Other devices tell you internal bottle temperatures to the decimal point, and I wait eagerly for the commercial release of the globally-patented Chipfinder, which uses a sensor based on the palate of the Swiss mountain goat to determine whether or not a chardonnay’s oak character is derived from maturation in genuine oak casks, or in fact through oak shavings, the winemaking equivalent of a Tetley’s teabag.
But the ultimate question facing the besotted wine enthusiast, as new device after new device appears on the top rack behind the bottle shop counter this Christmas, is whether or not these things actually work. It’s time to find out.
Let’s begin with the essential issue of separating wine bottle from wine cork. There are three basic types of corkscrew, Types I, II and III. Type I works every time, although it might be a little ungainly and sometimes difficult. Most corkscrews are next to useless with corks that are damaged or hard to retrieve. Type II will work in all but the most extreme cases with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of efficiency. Type III are the ‘designer corkscrews’.
Two-Pronged Design $6 approx. Type II.
These are the silly-looking corkscrews with two prongs, which when handled correctly disappear down the sides of the cork, and then allow it to be twisted out of the bottle.
They are very plain and very cheap, but extremely useful. If you do everything in reverse, you can put the cork back inside – almost perfectly. So if prior to an evening at a BYO restaurant, you want your red wine to breathe properly first, here’s your chance.
Waiter’s Friend $7-$17, depending on make quality Type I.
Mastery of this noble device brings it own rewards. It will open any wine that can be opened. These little fellows come with a blade to cut the foil or capsule, a lever to assist in the drawing of the cork, and sometimes with a bottle-opener attached. They are small, effective and made for professionals. They may be difficult, however, for those of us with a touch of arthritis.
It’s your best ally in trouble with difficult corks. You have more flexibility and control than with any other corkscrew. Sometimes with extremely hard corks, one must ensure that the lever does not chip the top of the bottle as pressure is applied to get the cork out.
Screwpull Table Model $29.95 Type II.
A brilliant device which anyone can simply to use to remove all but the most cantankerous or crumbly corks. All you have to do is position it over the cork and turn the handle. As you keep turning, it the cork lifts straight out of the bottle. This design should last forever, and is excellent with those uncooperative corks unwilling to fulfil their ultimate destiny.
Screwpull Lever Model $199.50 Type II.
This particular phenomenon would look quite in keeping on the set of Bladerunner. Unquestionably the most elaborate corkscrew I have ever used, it comes into its own on those occasions when you have to open eighty bottles in no time or else upset the wife. It’s quite light, strong and spectacular in operation and has the same strengths and weaknesses as the conventional Screwpull mentioned above, once its simple, fast technique in mastered.
Spring-Loaded Automatic Cork Puller $10 approx. Type III.
It’s hard to say anything kind about these crazy macho devices. Insert them into the cork and just keep on turning. A spring is wound that in turn drags the cork out of the bottle. The screw is thick and hacks the cork about, which could pose problems with old or crumbly corks. Fruity gordo moselle only.
Corky $19.95 Type III
A Swiss device invented no doubt to amuse the Dr Strangeloves of the medical profession. You actually inject a needle through the cork and pump air in with a syringe, forcing the cork upwards and outwards, for it has nowhere else to go. I have watched old bottles explode, old corks disintegrate. It offers no peace of mind.
Related Devices:
Champagne Star $21.95 Type I
A brilliant, simple and foolproof aid to the extraction of champagne corks, no matter how tight they are. Saves on strained wrists, the swear box and glass eyes.
Screwpull Foilcutter $13.50
Neat little tool to quickly remove the tops from wine capsules. Failsafe, efficient. Saves the desperate search for the carving-knife.
The cork is off, the thirst is on, the night is young and so is the wine. It needs to breathe, but you don’t have the time. You may like to try either of these devices;
Air-au-Vin $19.95
Uses a short, narrow tube through which air slowly bubbles up through the top portion of the wine bottle. It works marginally on the first glass, because the tube gets down that far. Less effective on the rest of the bottle, but the difference is only negligible once the wine begins to aerate in the glass. Unnecessary, and in my opinion, unjustifiable.
Red Wine Breatheasy $60, David Jones, Daimaru
You pour an entire bottle into a decanter via this device, whose clever patented valve causes the wine to bubble out and run down the sides of the decanter. It has a profound softening effect on young tannic reds throughout the whole bottle, and the aeration does remove significant levels of reduced sulphur pongs. Impressive, even decorative, Australian-made, but it’s not cheap.
On the other hand you may just prefer to pour a wine gently from decanter to decanter a couple of times. Of the two devices discussed, the latter is considerably more effective.
There is wine to spare, so what do you do? Whatever you choose, put the bottle, red or white, in the fridge. It will last longer.
There are two imported pump devices which claim to create a vacuum in the bottle, thereby excluding oxygen from the wine and protecting it. There are:
Vacu-Vin $19.95 and Wine Fresh $23.95
For a start, these only produce a vacuum of around 67, so oxygen is still in contact with the wine. I find that many wines suffer when the pumping takes place, because carbon dioxide is stripped out, which appears to ‘flatten’ the palate. I am also not convinced that sufficient free sulphur dioxide is not drawn out to reduce the wine’s protection against oxygen, against which it is still exposed, to cause slight oxidation and hardness on the palate even after a couple of days. I prefer just to use a normal cork and return any wine to the refrigerator.
A series of allegedly gas-displacing cylinders has begun to proliferate, of which one is nationally available:
Wine Saver $19.95
A mix of nitrogen and carbon dioxide gases, which you squirt in from above. According to the producers, this replaces the air in the bottle, which you then re-seal with the wine’s existing cork. Because, the carbon dioxide is heavier than air – although nitrogen is lighter – it is supposed to settle on the surface of the wine and protect it, even from any air still remaining in the bottle.
Having discussed this claim with several physical chemists and some of Australia’s best and most qualified winemakers, I cannot find anyone to agree with this hypothesis.
The displacement aspect is most dubious. Carbon dioxide, which is already dissolved in the atmosphere, will not settle and form a protective layer over the wine, although it is unquestionably heavier than air. For this to happen, it would have to be introduced up through the wine into the space above.
The only possible way this device would work is through gas dilution, by applying enough gas to a half-empty bottle to dilute the oxygen content down to a negligible level. Assuming that a 750 ml bottle is half-empty, and if the oxygen content is to be reduced from the atmospheric level of around 20 to a ‘safe’ level of under 5, over one litre of Wine Saver gas would be used per bottle! And that assumes the dilution works perfectly, which is extremely dubious considering the air is supposed to be leaving by the same opening as the gas is entering. Qualified suggestions are that two to three litres per bottle would be needed to drop the oxygen level sufficiently to protect the wine against oxidation. Given that the Wine Saver contains less than twelve litres of gas, one cylinder at $19.95 can be expected to protect around six bottles, significantly less than the producer’s and distributor’s claim of fifty.
My own tests with a vastly greater dose than the manufacturer stipulates are not differentiable against just putting the cork back without the gas.
You may as well toss in a sprig of rosemary and a vinegar starter. If you’re serious about preserving wine, keep an empty half-bottle, a port cork. Fill up the half-bottle, put in the cork, and keep it in the fridge, safely, for weeks.
Some of you may inexplicably leave unfinished sparkling wines. Try this then.
Champagne Fresh $29.50, Minimax
An innovative device which pumps air back into a half-finished bottle of fizz, maintaining a high gas pressure above the liquid and encouraging the bubbles to stay put. It’s very impressive, but don’t over-pump. Be very careful while re-opening that the stopper doesn’t explode upwards, by keeping a hand on it.
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